In keeping with my Halloween 'viiiiiiiiiiibe' I thought I'd hark back to those innocent childhood days of mine. Spoilt only by Michael Aspel scaring the FUCKING SHIT out of me every Friday. So harrowed was I by the stories of the paranormal that every Friday bedtime I turned into some sort of quivering buffoon as every sound and shadow kept me awake through the 'witching hour'
Strange But True was a brilliant 90s show on ITV on a Friday night that told stories of people's experiences with ghosts, UFOs, and other weird stuff. Unlike Ghost Hunting or whatever that programme is where that bloke goes into a room and whispers at other people, it was genuinely scary. Having Michael Aspel hosting it was a touch of genius. A more reliable, trustworthy (but also a bit scary in a latter-day Christopher Lee sort of way) host you could not find. What I also liked was one of the stories was near me at Muncaster Castle in Cumbria.
ANYWAY, where is it?! It's never on anymore! And what is on ITV?! Total, intense, brain nulling, soul debasing 24hr crap! I decided to let ITV know that they'd made a mistake in forgetting about Strange But True. I decided to email 'the duty office' (whatever that is) and tell them to bring it back, or at least repeat it. Here is my correspondance to date:
me-"Hello ITV!I was reminded recently of a TV show you aired in the 1990s called 'Strange But True' with Michael Aspel. I was wondering if there was any way a fan such as myself could watch the show? Are there any plans to released it on DVD? Could you put it on your website? I'm sure I can't be the only one who has contacted you with such a request.Please reply soon, I'm dying to see this show again!Best regards,Mike"
'the duty officer' (surely some sort of Kafka character that never was) - "Thank you for your email. Sorry to disappoint you, but we have no plans to repeat/put this series on our website. Nor is it commercially available.
Regards
DUTY OFFICER.ae"
me- "Dear The Duty Officer,
This is disapointing news. I am unmoved by the vast majority of ITV's output these days and feel a re-run of Strange But True would be a real jewel in your crown. Are you sure you couldn't put it on your website? Due to the success of 'online tv' websites such as Youtube and 4OD etc, this could boost both your website hits and reputation and introduce the wonders of Strange But True to a whole new generation! I'm sure that Mr Michael Aspel would have no objections!
Mike"
them- nothing.
Who is this sinster 'duty officer' that refuses to communicate with me? Why does he put ".ae" after his name? Help!
Wednesday, 31 October 2007
Alternative Halloween
Sick of pumpkins and kids dressed as witches? Fuck it, so am I.
I've always been a fan of Halloween but I'm a bit sick of all the 'commercial' shit that comes with it. Forced down our throats at every turn, it's made it more pallatable than it should be. I've decided to make my own fun tonight and plan to treat my ears and eyes to the sort of art and that malarky that seem suitably sinister.
WHAT I'VE DONE
Woke up this morning and listened to Future Days by Can. If you've never heard of Can then go and check them out, they're brilliant. It's like all that atmospheric music that idiots listen to 'to chill out' but with Damo Suzuki (the best Can frontman) screaming, whispering and, sometimes, singing tri-lingual glumph, it's just great. Feeling triumphantly sinister I made myself some black coffee and enjoyed my day.
What else? Well, it seems stupid not to read some Kafka. The outright master of implied horror at every turn, unable to run from grotesque forces that maniplate his every move. It's also fucking funny as well. I read somewhere that Kafka used to chuckle away at his stories when reading them outloud to his friend Max Brod and it's quite entertaining to keep this in mind when reading Kafka. The Castle in particular nails the humourous element perfectly. The two assistants, first seen running past K., are insanely funny in my opinion. The contrast of this and the dark, brooding starkness of the rest of the story just adds to the comedy.
If you're one of those people who can listen to music AND read at the same time (something I haven't quite managed) put on Bitches Brew by Miles Davis, some brilliant electric, funk, dark jazz.
The only thing lacking from my night is a good, genuinely scary film. I've got a copy of 'Funny Games' in the cupboard downstairs that I might put on.
There you go then; Can, Miles Davis and, of course, Franz Kafka. The perfect Halloween. If you don't do it today do it some other day and just pretend it's Halloween. Why does it have to be on the 31st anyway?
I've always been a fan of Halloween but I'm a bit sick of all the 'commercial' shit that comes with it. Forced down our throats at every turn, it's made it more pallatable than it should be. I've decided to make my own fun tonight and plan to treat my ears and eyes to the sort of art and that malarky that seem suitably sinister.
WHAT I'VE DONE
Woke up this morning and listened to Future Days by Can. If you've never heard of Can then go and check them out, they're brilliant. It's like all that atmospheric music that idiots listen to 'to chill out' but with Damo Suzuki (the best Can frontman) screaming, whispering and, sometimes, singing tri-lingual glumph, it's just great. Feeling triumphantly sinister I made myself some black coffee and enjoyed my day.
What else? Well, it seems stupid not to read some Kafka. The outright master of implied horror at every turn, unable to run from grotesque forces that maniplate his every move. It's also fucking funny as well. I read somewhere that Kafka used to chuckle away at his stories when reading them outloud to his friend Max Brod and it's quite entertaining to keep this in mind when reading Kafka. The Castle in particular nails the humourous element perfectly. The two assistants, first seen running past K., are insanely funny in my opinion. The contrast of this and the dark, brooding starkness of the rest of the story just adds to the comedy.
If you're one of those people who can listen to music AND read at the same time (something I haven't quite managed) put on Bitches Brew by Miles Davis, some brilliant electric, funk, dark jazz.
The only thing lacking from my night is a good, genuinely scary film. I've got a copy of 'Funny Games' in the cupboard downstairs that I might put on.
There you go then; Can, Miles Davis and, of course, Franz Kafka. The perfect Halloween. If you don't do it today do it some other day and just pretend it's Halloween. Why does it have to be on the 31st anyway?
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